The Affinity Project
Mike French (he/him) is a freelance photographer and bisexual husband and dad in a straight-appearing marriage.
Mike French (he/him) is a freelance photographer and bisexual husband and dad in a straight-appearing marriage.
After a decade of hiding his identity outside of his marriage, Mike grew frustrated of the biphobic misconceptions of bisexual identities in the binary between gay/straight relationships. Thanks to the pandemic and the headspace it provided to consider his own identity and where it fitted in, Mike started to research bi+ identities as a passion project. It became very clear that this was a conversation the needed to be had. As he and his wife started to open up about his bisexuality outside of their marriage, the necessity to improve bivisibility, for the sake of other, less fortunate, individuals that could not be themselves became more apparent.
As a professional photographer, the obvious medium for Mike was to document bi+ identities in heteronormative settings for the Affinity Project to show the world that we do, and can, happily exist.
What is the nature of your work?
The Affinity Project is intended to be a lifelong passion project that will naturally take meanders along the way. There is no definitive end to the project with the hope that as queer identities in straight-appearing relationships become less stigmatized, the project will turn into a celebration of the diverse identities we all have.
I want to normalize our identities as another element of the rich fabric of all relationships and encourage conversations outside of the queer community.
As it stands, I hope that the project is as accessible as possible, whilst remaining true to the narrative of bi+ people in straight-appearing relationships. I set this parameter with the aim to keep the project focused but also because it is what I feel qualified to do so as a bisexual man.
3 things you wish everyone knew about bisexuality?
It is enriching and fulfilling to be true to yourself
Bisexuality actually strengthens bonds in relationships, when spoken honestly and openly, not erodes them
More people than you think have bisexual attractions, but chose not to disclose them
What bi+ research would you like people to know about?
It goes without saying that Dr. Julia Shaw has made bisexual identities incredibly accessible with her most recent book, Bi. It positions the identity in a way that is easy for those who do not identify as bi+ to appreciate the complexities and depth of the bisexual world – informing the reader that it is about so much more than sex.
Are you bi?
Unapologetically so. Being Bi has gone from being a conversation my wife and I only had in the bedroom to being a fundamental part of my everyday life.
Tell us a little about your experience? When did you know you were bisexual?
There was no mention of bisexuality when I was growing up so I felt incredibly conflicted about having attractions to boys and girls. It wasn’t until I was at university that the word bi-curious started popping up and it chimed. When my now wife told me that she thought I was actually bisexual, everything just fell in to place and I started to feel more and more aligned to my true self.
Does being bisexual+ change how you approach your research or work? How so?
Yes. I am far more open about my identity now with the intention of making it as everyday as being gay or straight. My professional work connects me to a huge range of personalities and I try to be as open as possible knowing that each of those people will have their own agenda and experience of the bisexual community.
Do your friends and family know you are Bi?
The pandemic led me to consider being out as a bi man to close friends and family because I became aware of the implications it was having on my own wellbeing, but I also struggled knowing how many men felt ashamed of their identity and couldn’t be open with those closest to them, especially their wives.
Learn more about Mike French here.